the burning doll

One day in the early morning as we were all preparing to go to school (I was in high school), I look outside and see mom standing in our lawn. This is a very unusual sight. I step out the front door and mom has a can of gasoline in one hand and a lighter in the other, and she’s staring at something on the ground as flames engulf it.

I look closer and ask her what she’s doing. She found a doll laying in our yard. It was black and white and made to look like a gothic jester. Mom apparently thought it was from the devil, so she decided she would pour gasoline (or something flameable) over it and and watch it burn.

But really, it was just our guy friends that threw that doll into our yard during the night as a funny joke.

can i pay you with cheesecake instead?

I went to a Studio Movie Grill with a friend tonight to watch the latest Chronicles of Narnia movie (with my free ticket from Facebook). So this Studio Movie Grill is all new to me. It's a way fancy version of a movie theater.
You sit down at a table with office chairs and order your popcorn (that comes with a side of hot butter) from a menu of other seemingly delicious items. And at the end of the movie they come with your bill...most like a restaurant.

I prepared my money in advance to pay for it: I got it out of my wallet and stuck it in my zip pocket of my purse, so I would know exactly where to find it without hassle when the time came. Well, that wasn't the only slip of folded up paper in that pocket.

When it comes time to pay, I grabbed the first piece of folded up paper I found in the pocket (mind you, it's still dark in the theater. The waiter came around at the end of the movie, and all the lights were still off), and stuck it in the plate with the receipt. Didn't think twice about it.

Minutes later, the waiter guy comes back and hands us back the plate, and he whispers, "you gave us a cheesecake recipe." LOL!!

I started laughing. I grabbed the paper, and sure enough it was a pumpkin cheesecake recipe Titi Evelyn gave me...and not the $20 I thought I put in there. How embarrassing. I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the movie.

a favorite quote

"We're getting a cold front over here. It's 72. We're cold!" - Daddy.

While in Carrollton it's 44°F and in Chicago it's 28°F.

Michelle's conversation with a hacker

Note to hackers: next time learn how my momma talks!!!!! and then maybe you'll fool me. stinkers.

miriamacevedo

hey 10:36 PM

hey momma!!! 10:36 PM what you doing up? 10:36 PM

Me

miriamacevedo

I just took an IQ quiz here.. pretty cool  10:36 PM

what's your iq 10:36 PM is this my momma? 10:36 PM

Me

miriamacevedo

got a 113 lol... I thought I was smarter than that 10:36 PM

what's the highest?? 10:38 PM

Me

miriamacevedo

you should see if you can do better than me... http://seemyiqscore.com/?invitecode=9x75ehe63c if u can ill give you twenty dollars lol 10:39 PM

is this my mom? 10:38 PM

Me

miriamacevedo

try beating me... I bet you cant lol 10:38 PM

who is this 10:38 PM

Me

miriamacevedo

you dont even know me anymore? wow.. 10:38 PM

bye. hacker 10:40 PM

Me

miriamacevedo

im not hacked! 10:40 PM

hilarious Mom text

I received this text from Mom last night. I could barely understand a thing. Way tooo funny. I couldn't stop laughing. I'm still laughing.

Mom: Ne a and fran i love apatmen je s wlrks gom and has appt with drk  sne is wa
kiing better toda only the stches hurt a bit. but she is fin tnak the lord and lrayer.

Me: Whaaaaaa?!  Let's try that again. The spelling was ridiculous!! lol.

Ma's second attempt: Je s is better. walks better too...she only has pain in her stitches. they are in their apartment tonigh jen has apptme t with dr tomm. will keep you poste (was this better:

Me: Yea. A lil better. lol

Ma: Lol..lol..wnatever lo

the gas station post...

As we were road tripping to Chicago, there came a point where we needed to get gas. Fran and I saw a sign for a gas station at an upcoming exit, so we tell dad. But dad wasn't so sure....

Us: it says there's a gas station at the next exit, Dad. (a paraphrase)

Dad: I don't know. You see, you gotta take the exit and maybe go one or two miles before you get there.

*Dad decides not to take the exit. We keep driving. We spot the advertised gas station right at the exit.*

Dad: or maybe not. It's right there.

LOLOLOOLL!!! 

Miracle Salsa

Fran and I (jen) were trying to open up a jar of salsa. We had been trying foreverrrr to open it and NOTHING. The dumb thing did not open. So I decided to just pray about it.

me: Fran, we gotta pray about it. this is our only hope.
fran starts to laugh.
me: seriouslyyyy. pray about it. this isnt opening!
fran: ok. God, please help Jenny open the salsa.
fran starts to laugh
me: y are u laughing?
fran: jennifer, are we really praying about salsa? this is ridiculous
me: NOTHING IS RIDICULOUS FOR GOD!!

at that very second, i turn the top of the jar again....

*****************POPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP***********
THE JAR OPENS!!!!!!!!!

in slow motion fran turns her head in amazement. eyes wide open.
me and fran put our hand sn the air and start giving each other air high-fives
me: OMGG. DID U SEE THAT?!?!?!
fran: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Fran begins to sob like a baby
fran: THAT IS AMAZING!! THAT IS AMAZING! THAT IS MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!
me: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. DID U SEE THAT!?!?!?!? I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO CALL MICHELLE.

Moral of the story: Nothing is too small for God.

I have miracle salsa in my fridge now. If anyone wants pictures of the miracle salsa, please direct your requests to jenniferjimenez09@gmail.com